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was passed over.
Will it be because of a one-time overimbibing? Jane might grumble,
Yes. Jane is wrong. Its simply that big players cant take
How to Know What Not to Say at Parties 313
the chance that one of their key people will feel too much holiday
spirit at another party and next time confront an important client.
Lets move to the second safe haven where big cats can escape the
claws of bigger cats and, they hope, the growls of lesser ones.
Technique #83
Parties Are for Pratter
There are three sacred safe havens in the human jungle where even
the toughest tiger knows he must not attack. The first of these is parties.
Parties are for pleasantries and good fellowship, not for
confrontations. Big players, even when standing next to their enemies at
the buffet table, smile and nod. They leave tough talk for tougher
settings.
How to Know What Not to Say at Dinner
Did you ever wonder why business lunches between big bosses go on
interminably long, sometimes well into the afternoon? Did you ever
suspect its just because they like to sit, drink, and massage each other on
the company expense account? Perhaps theres an element of that. But the
main reason is because the dining table is an even more sacred safe haven
than a party. Big boys and big girls realize, whether its a business dinner,
lunch, or breakfast, breaking bread together is a time when they must
discuss no unpleasant aspects of the business. After all, tough negotiating
can kill your appetite.
Lets listen in on an average business lunch between big plaers. We
hear the clanking of glasses as they consume drinks over convivial
conversation. They are discussing golf, the weather, and making general
observations about the state of the business. Duing the main course, the
discourse turns to food, the arts, current affairs, and other nonthreatening
subjects.
Wasted time? one might ask. Not at all! The big players are watching
each others moves very carefully, calculating each others skills,
knowledge, prowess. Like NFL scouts observing college football practice,
theyre determining whos got the right stuff. Big
314
How to Know What Not to Say at Dinner 315
players know how people handle themselves at a social occasion is an
accurate barometer of their big-business muscle. As they are smiling and
laughing at each others jokes, they are all making silent critical
judgments.
Finally, coffee arrives. At this point one or more of the biggies gently
broaches the business at hand. Naturally, he or she does it with supposed
reluctance, trying to repress the obvious relief that at last they can get
down to significant stuff. He exudes, What a shame such genial company
should have to concern itself with mundane matters like making money.
Only after they have played out this crucial charade can they discuss
business. But no dirty business. The biggies can brainstorm over coffee.
They can discuss proposals over dessert. They can toss around new ideas
over cordials. They can explore the positive side of the merger, the
acquisition, or the partnership while waiting for the check.
However, should any disagreement, misunderstanding, or
controversial aspect arise, they must immediately relegate it to another
table, the conference table.
Technique #84
Dinners for Dining
The most guarded safe haven respected by big winners is the dining
table. Breaking bread together is a time when they bring up no unpleasant
matters. While eating, they know its OK to brainstorm and discuss the
positive side of the business: their dreams, their desires, their designs.
They can free associate and come up with new ideas. But no tough
business.
This convention probably arose out of a prudent agreement not to
inflict indigestion on each other. Tough negotiating is unpalatable and
can ruin an otherwise perfectly mouthwatering veal chop.
Incidentally, the same rule applies in the social jungle. If one partner
in a friendship or a love relationship has some heavy reltionship issues to
discuss, save them for after dessert. Even if you dont solve the problem,
you want to enjoy the delicious chocolate souffl%7ń.
Lets crawl into our third and final safe haven to explore it.
How to Know What Not to Say in a Chance Meeting
William, who sells widgets, has been trying to get Big Winner on the
phone for weeks to see if B.W.s company will buy his line of widgets.
Big Winner is still considering Willies widgets and plans eventually to
return his call. However, at this point in our story, our little heros phone
has not rung.
It just so happens, one evening Willie finds himself standing behind
Big Winner in the supermarket line.
What good fortune! thinks Willie.
Oh hell! thinks Big Winner. I hope hes not going to hit me with talk
of his widgets at this hour.
Those who appreciate safe havens know there are two very different
endings to this story. The Willie who brings up widgets with an Aha, Ive
got you now gleam in his eye, never gets his call returned. Even if Big
Winner preferred Willies widgets above all others, he would find the
supermarket entrapment sufficiently painful to punish the little loser.
However, the Willie who just says Hello there, B.W. How good to see
you, with nary a word of widgets, shows hes a big player, too. This Willie
will most certainly get his call returned probably the next dayout of Big
Winners relief and gratitude for Willies graciousness.
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Technique #85
Chance Encounters Are for Chitchat
If youre selling, negotiating, or in any sensitive communication with
someone, do NOT capitalize on a chance meeting. Keep the melody of
your mistaken meeting sweet and light. Otherwise, it could turn into your
swan song with Big Winner.
Consistently create safe havens for people if you want them to elevate
you to the status of big winner. You may find yourself dining with them,
going to parties with them, getting big hellos in the hall, and closing
deals much faster than during business hours. Who knows? If its your
desire, you even make yourself elgible for some heavy socializing at the
top. Big winners make it safe for each other to accept invitations to play
golf, spend the weekend in their country homes, or relax by each others
pools. They know there will be no sharks swimming in the water, no razor
blades buried in the shrimp cocktail. [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
