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off at an angle in that direction.
At first, all I felt was disappointment that I was not going to get a look
behind it Then it occurred to me that perhaps the reason neither mistwall nor
mistwall section had been moving had been because each had butted up against
the other; and the two time change lines coming together had somehow created
an unusual state or condition that had halted them both.
The moment that I thought it, I was hungry to see what was behind the
intersection of those two mistwalls. Ever since, lying on the lizard raft, I
had come up with the idea that perhaps those of us who were stifl here on the
earth might be individually immune to the time changes, I had been playing
with the idea of not avoiding the next mistwall we met, but deliberately
walking Into it, to see if I could get through and survive. Now I had a double
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ABC Amber Palm Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcpalm.html
reason to try going through the one before me. It was not merely to find out
if I could get through with nothing worse than the unconsciousness I bad
experienced the first time, but to discover if there was something special or
strange about the situation when oae time change line ran into another. I
stopped the Volvo.
I got out and looked at the wall I also looked forward along the other angle
of the second, or continued, mistwall to see where the road emerged once more
from it, only about a couple of hundred yards away. It occurred to me that an
I had to do was get back on the road and keep going, and the three of us would
continue to stay safe* united, and happy. Or, I could turn and go through the
mistwall; and I might, just might, learn something-that is, if I made it
through all right.
I stood there. And the longer I stood, the stronger grew the desire in me to
try going through the watt. It wss exactly the way it had always been, from my
earliest childhood, when my mind fastened on to a question and would not let
it go without finding the answer. The phenomenon was like every time since Td
first let that relentless mental machinery in my head get its teeth into a
problem. I remembered perfectly the terrible feeling I had felt during the
initial seconds of that first time change, when I had thought I was having
another heart attack. I remembered the miserable, helpless, empty sensation
all through me after I had come to. I remembered every bit and part that had
been bad about it; and still... still... as I stood there the wanting to go
through that wall and find out what I did not know was like a sharp, sweet
taste on my lips and a hunger that used me up inside like fire. I turned back
at last to look at the girl and Sunday. If I went through the waU and never
returned, what would happen to them? I told myself that I owed them nothing,
and something inside me called me a liar. At the same time, the thought of any
responsibility I might have toward either of them had about as much deterrent
effect on the hunger that was eating me up as a cup of water tossed on a
burning building. I had no real choice. I had to go through that wall if I-and
they-died for it I turned back to the leopard and the girl, both of whom were
still sitting in the car.
"Stay here!" I said. "You understand me? Stay right here. Don't take as much
as one step after me. Stay where youaref*
They both stared at me silently. One of the girl's hands twitched-that was
all. I turned and walked away from them, toward the mistwall, until I had to
squint my eyes against the flying dust of it Just before I reached the actual
mist of the wan, I turned and looked back. The girl still sat with Sunday
beside her, both watching me. Neither had moved a muscle,
I turned back again, dosed my eyes to the sting of the dust, and walked
blindly forward.
But the hard part was not the dust The hard part was that it was tike walking
into an emotional tornado. It was bad. It was very bad. But, somehow, it was
not as bad as I remembered it from the first time, outside my cabin. Maybe
this was because my first time through had left me with a sort of immunity, as [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
