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[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
thanks to you. Give me a hand, would you?
Sure, Jamie said and turned around.
And for a moment stopped breathing. Because somewhere
between the discovery of the old school reports and the discovery
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of the old clubs, Robert had, in the loft s heat, undone the first few
buttons of his shirt. Jamie could see a hint of smooth tanned skin
and the line of his throat. He looked so good. Still.
Then he ceased to think at all.
It took him four steps to reach Robert. He didn t pay any
attention to the clubs. He put his hand on the back of Robert s head
and brought his lips down to his. The next moment Robert s
tongue was filling his mouth, and Jamie clung on, knowing to his
shame that he d closed his eyes and was moaning, as the six years
since they d last done this simply melted away.
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CHAPTER 17
Oh, God. Jamie sat upright in the unfamiliar bed, his heart
beating as if trying to spring out of his chest, and the vestiges of
the sort of dream he shouldn t want to remember clinging like a
sick cat to his consciousness.
What? What the hell? He put his hands over his face,
wondering where he was.
His companion laughed.
Lucy.
Thank God. Looking around, he could see at once where he
was. Of course he could. The early May sunshine streaming
through the window of her bedroom must have just wakened him.
How long have I been asleep? he asked her.
She stopped brushing her hair.
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I don t know, not long. Ten minutes? Sorry, I wasn t counting.
You okay?
Sure, thanks. Why shouldn t I be?
Getting up, he started searching for his clothes and putting
them on.
You must ve been tired, though, she said. You were out like
a light afterwards. Work okay? Have you seen Robert s offices
yet?
Shaken at the mention of Robert in this context, though it was a
damn sight less unsettling than the context he d been in not long
ago, Jamie let a few seconds go by before answering.
Empty, he said at last. They re empty. He needs to get the
furniture sorted. It s taking longer than he thought, but they re
good buildings. He s done well, as ever.
Lucy shrugged, and Jamie thought back to the events of this
morning, when he d seen Robert.
He d spent the weeks since Easter remembering that kiss and
avoiding Robert. He couldn t handle this. Not after what had
happened six years before. Which he was determined not to think
about. They d spent far too long in the attic kissing and touching
each other wherever they could reach. Without taking any clothes
off, though one or two more buttons had been undone.
Robert had offered more, but Jamie couldn t handle that either,
knowing if the other man took things to a more intimate level he d
never be able to keep silent. In fact, there were so many things he
wanted to say to Robert, hundreds of stupid, pointless things, and
he couldn t find the words for any of them. So they d carried on
kissing and stroking until the quavering sound of his father s voice
had forced Jamie to let go and pulled him back down into the
house again. Gasping and shaking. With those damn golf clubs.
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THE HIT LIST
He had no idea how his father hadn t noticed anything strange.
Jamie was sure his face had been glowing, and his lips felt bruised
and full as if they d never be their normal shape again. Neither
could he stop staring at Robert, and it had been a relief when
shortly after the other man had made his excuses and left.
Since then, Jamie had avoided both Robert and Robert s
invitation to look at his new offices. In the end, even his father had
started to wonder aloud why he d not gone, and so this morning
Jamie had run out of excuses. He d tried to make his visit as brief
as possible, but Robert still managed to fit in the guided tour
around his plans for the suite of five rooms, for which he d just
signed the contract.
This time they hadn t touched at all. Jamie didn t know what he
thought about that. He d hoped Robert would say or do something,
but he didn t, and the overwhelming boldness that had swept over
Jamie in the attic in his own home didn t make a return visit. He d
simply nodded and agreed his way through it all. As soon as he
could, he d made his escape. Back to Lucy.
I ll be fine, Jamie thought to himself as here and now he gave
Lucy an absent-minded goodbye peck on the cheek. He d have to
be. It was obvious Robert saw what had happened as a temporary
madness and nothing more than a blip in Jamie s otherwise straight
existence. He was probably avoiding the subject, too, in order to be
polite. Just as Jamie was avoiding it, though for other reasons.
Ones he couldn t fully explain.
Plus his workload, not to mention the worries about his father,
was getting to him. He just had to hang on until the summer, at
which point everything would get back to how it should be. The
conference would be over, and Robert would leave. Until that took
place, Jamie had to make sure that he kept everyone, especially the
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THE HIT LIST
cause of his out-of-character longings, in the dark.
An easy thing to decide on, but not so easy to do.
Particularly as his father was making none of his usual health
improvements with the warmer weather.
Night times continued to be the worst. There d been no let-up
there. Right now, having risen like one of Pavlov s dogs at the
sound of his father s cry, and stumbling half-asleep across the hall,
cursing all diseases, Jamie barged his way into the bedroom.
Jamie! Don t scratch the wallpaper.
What?
The wallpaper, don t scratch it. We ll never get that pattern
again. And I&
Oh. Right. Sorry. Are you in pain? Jamie switched on the
light and fumbled with the pills, hands shaking with a mixture of
exhaustion and confusion. What did the décor have to do with
anything anyway? Right now, his father wouldn t be able see it
without his glasses.
Yes, I am. Of course I am.
Okay, let s take these.
As gently as possible, Jamie levered his father up on the
pillows so he could swallow the pills. He took one, two. And
reached for another, but Jamie s hand was empty. He wasn t
supposed to take more than two at any one time.
I bet you wish I was dead.
Wh& What? Jamie stammered, wondering where the hell
that had come from. What do you mean?
I d be better off dead, his father said. We both would. Think
of all those things you could do when I m gone.
What? Jamie swallowed. Don t be silly, Dad. What would I
do without you?
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THE HIT LIST
But you shouldn t have to look after me like this. You re
young and you ve got your whole life ahead of you. I m only
holding you back. You should get away from me, find some young
woman, settle down.
Thinking of the scenes that had been haunting his dreams
lately, mainly involving Robert and himself in all kinds of
compromising situations with the occasional and utterly bizarre
appearance of Lucy, Jamie almost smiled, but really didn t have
the heart for it.
I mean you should keep hold of Lucy, you know. She s a
lovely young woman. Just the sort of woman you can settle down
with.
Yes, perhaps that was it, Jamie thought. Perhaps that was what
he needed to do to get himself sorted out. He wasn t sure though
what Lucy would say to the plan.
His father groaned, and Jamie waited as his dad found a more
comfortable position in the bed. He thought the subject of his love
life might be finished, but it wasn t over yet.
You see, Jamie, he said, when you find the right one, and
believe me you know when you do, you shouldn t waste time
wondering about it. You should just get on with it, really you
should. Timing or age doesn t matter. Your mother taught me that.
Just think about it, will you? [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
